Tips for Parents, Tutors and Lunch Buddies

Listening to Your Child

• Show that your are listening to your child
• Look at your child when he talks to you or you talk to him
• Be aware of your own attitudes. Listen to what you are saying as well as what your child is saying. Try to discuss the situation, not argue about who is right
• Convey to your child that you believe in him or her and that you are more concerned about him and his well being that what has happened
• Children need to feel that they are OK as people even when their behavior is not OK. Calling a child “lazy or “stupid” because he is leaving homework unfinished is making a judgement about the child as a person when the issue is unfinished homework
• Don’t interrupt when your child is talking. Refusing to listen tells him that his thoughts and feelings are unimportant

Building Success: Basic Techniques for Volunteers

What’s a Volunteer To Do?

• Show interest. Focus on the child and his problems, successes, concerns or needs
• Show your attitudes and feelings. Be honest
• When a child is discussing a problem, talk less and listen more. This gives the child an opportunity to share his concerns and feelings and gives the volunteer time to show interest
• Ask questions that require more than a yes or no answer. Ask, “Why do you like to read?” instead of “Do you like to read?”
• Do not interrupt when the child is talking
• Listening shows that you think what the child has to say is important
• Focus on feelings by asking things such as, “What does this mean to you?” or “How do you feel about that?”
• Observe nonverbal cues: the way the child moves or sits, how his posture or face changes.
• Be brief with your remarks. Long complicated questions or comments can be confusing
• Pause before talking. This gives the child another opportunity to speak
• Don’t lecture; rather, help him examine alternatives.

Volunteer's Vocabulary

“You’re doing so much better”
“You are such a hard worker”
“I can tell you like to read”
“Wow! This is really good”
“That shows a great deal of work”
“I really like coming to see you”
“What wonderful work”
“This is so creative”
“This is nicely done”
“You write your letters numbers nicely”

“You should be proud of this”
“Show this to your parents”
“I like the way you behave”

"That was a nice thing to do”
“I knew you could do it”
“I believe in you”
“I like the way you think”
“You did a great job”
“I am proud of you”